HOW TO ESCAPE ASO-EBI LIKE AN EXPERT

 

It’s about 4 months to the end of the year and you know what that means? It means wedding bells are ringing already, it was last week I realized that about six of my friends are getting married before the end of the day and they all have aso-ebi. I had to ask a very important question “how much is my salary sef” the cheapest of the materials is about #5,000 and I will still sow, please I’m done like Nigerians would say ‘I cannot come and kill myself.

If like me you are tired of spending all your savings on aso-ebi, let’s have a group meeting and discuss on how to stylishly reject some clothes. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying don’t buy aso-ebi please buy but do you have to go bankrupt trying to please somebody that is not even your close friend, a lot of us buy the clothes of people who are just acquaintances, people you barely know but why. Your wardrobe is filled with clothes you will never wear again after the wedding day and you are wondering why you are in debt. I’m not a financial coach but I do know that there is no point buying what you won’t use. It’s not about Buhari all the time, its okay to be wise about your spending. Aso-ebi has really become a means of exploiting others these days and you really need to be wise.

 

Here is the thing, before you use these tricks make sure they are people you can do without, they must be people that even if they don’t come on your wedding day you won’t feel offended. I told myself some years back if I buy your aso-ebi you must buy mine, it is very compulsory. I don’t mind calling your husband you must buy. Use these tricks on acquaintances.

  1. People who have not called you in a while: Recently, a friend of mine called me and started the whole talk about me not checking up on her in a while, iyam not understanding the last time we spoke I was the one who called. I knew aunty had plans, the next thing I heard was ‘anyways, my wedding is in September’ I knew it was time to come up with an excuse. When you receive such calls please be smart, don’t allow them to finish. You sef vex and be angry that way aso-ebi will not enter, you’ve been doing fine before the phone call. After the wedding call and greet her, buy her a wedding gift the fight will finish and that’s all.
  2. Don’t give your money to charity: Like I mentioned earlier, you can’t afford to spend your hard earned money on people you barely know. If you are buying aso-ebi let it be for your friend’s wedding, not one girl that does not even know your name, all they know is your nick name. Anyone who calls me for aso-ebi and calls me by my nick name or my Instagram handle just forget it I’m not doing
  3. Clash of dates: This is the perfect excuse, tell them the date is your uncle’s sister’s aunty’s cousin’s wedding too and you can’t afford to miss it. I’m not asking you to lie, I’m just saying be smart. Come up with stories like ‘OMG! Chai! Oooh and that’s my cousin’s wedding too o, I’m really sorry, I can’t believe it but I will try and make it even if it’s reception’ very simple show up at the reception with your own cloth and that’s all.
  4. Colour clash: Tell them you have a cloth in the same colour and you don’t like repeating colours. If the shades are different, try your best to convince them that those fancy lights at the reception can change the color of your outfit to theirs. If water could turn into wine, and at a wedding, even, then anything is possible. Let the bride know it will all mix up and you will be fine.
  5. You don’t have money: there is no shame in admitting that you are broke, you can’t kill yourself o. tell the bride the truth and this is my best option, let them know sincerely you can’t afford it. Don’t form your way to bankruptcy, it is definitely not worth it. A true friend will understand your situation and find a way to still involve you on that day. Stop stressing yourself for superficial people who do not care if you have to starve to be able to afford their asoebi. You will be the one soaking the garri at the end of the day. The bride will not die if you say No neither will the wedding be canceled.

Asoebi is an essential part of any event, just like jollof rice, but I never heard someone cancelled their wedding simply because one person wasn’t a part of it. All that money can be used for other things like improving yourself and learning new skills. If we all sit to calculate all the money we’ve spent on asoebi, I am sure some people’s own should be able to complete a duplex somewhere in my village or even in Ibadan.

Don’t form what is not real if you can’t buy it’s not a crime. I’m not saying don’t buy asoebi if you can afford it why not, may the lord bless your ministry. The weddings are already here and you need some nice shoes to rock the asoebi with so click here and place your order. We’ve got nice and affordable shoes.

After all has been said and done, if you read this article and you are my friend don’t even think of using any of these skills with me, you must buy my asoebi that’s if I decide to sell sha but until then I won’t take any excuse but I will consider a doctor’s report.

Cheers to a beautiful weekend!

Photo credit: Google

1 Comment

  • Modupe
    Posted August 24, 2018 4:01 pm 0Likes

    What an article. I like it. Well done and keep up the good work.

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